Pregnancy was a journey I feared for many years. After a decade-long battle with negative body image, disordered eating and body dsymorphia, the thought of losing control of my body size to the whims of a growing baby struck fear into my heart.
Thankfully, about eight years ago, by the grace of God, I found freedom and healing from the shackles of insecurity that had previously plagued me and haunted me in the mirror. Admittedly, after being heartbroken by a toxic and abusive relationship, I swore off love forever. I never believed I would get married and I certainly never believed I would have kids. Both marriage and children represented a level of vulnerability I wasn’t willing to relinquish.
And then I met Brandon. He changed my heart, my life and my understanding of love completely. After he proposed in Paris, we married in Bora Bora and he has proven to me that love really is the most beautiful thing we could ever have in this world. As I fell more and more in love with Brandon, I learned that vulnerability was the secret to unleashing authenticity in life. The more vulnerable I became, the more alive in being myself I felt. Eventually, I couldn’t imagine not having a family with Brandon.
I was overjoyed in June when we learned that we were pregnant. The thought of having a baby that is part me and part him makes my soul smile. These first twenty weeks of pregnancy have been a beautiful journey – with ups and downs – that I can’t believe I am enjoying so much. Let me be honest: I miss drinking wine and I miss my caffeine. It has also been mentally challenging to slow down my running pace to stay under my prescribed maximum heart rate of 140 bmp; I had a shortened surf season and will miss out on snowboarding this winter. But, to be fully transparent, I have been lucky with this pregnancy in every which way. I never experienced morning sickness, I can nap at my leisure since I work from home and I have a husband who massages my legs every night, making me feel loved and supported.
We hosted a gender reveal party a few weeks ago, surrounded by a gathering of our closest family and friends. The anticipation of cutting into the pink and blue cake to find out the sex of our baby was a moment I will remember forever. I was ecstatic and emotional when I caught my first glimpse of the inside color of the cake…pink. (!!!)
Now as we anticipate the arrival of our little baby girl, every day feels more surreal than the previous. Our closet is starting to fill with baby pinks and lavenders, and our hearts are full in thinking about names that we will call our little loved one for life.
I have maintained a consistent fitness routine over the past 20 weeks, as outlined below:
Week One:
45 miles + 1 lifting session
Week Two:
40 miles + 1 lifting session
Week Three:
Marathon + 20 training miles
Week Four:
25 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 1 swim workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Five:
28 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 swim workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Six:
33 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Seven:
28 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 3 lifting sessions (injured and tight hip)
Week Eight:
28 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 3 lifting sessions (injured and tight hip)
Week Nine:
33 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 stair climbing workout
Week Ten:
28 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 stair climbing workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Eleven:
39 miles + 2 lifting sessions
Week Twelve:
34 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Thirteen:
38 miles + 1 stair climbing workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Fourteen:
42 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Fifteen:
42 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Sixteen:
41 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Seventeen:
45 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Eighteen:
43 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Nineteen:
47 miles + 2 lifting sessions
As you can see by my workouts, I’ve had much more energy and motivation during my second trimester than I experienced in my first trimester. I hope to continue keeping my weekly running mileage above 30 miles / week through at least week 30 of pregnancy. It’s important to note that my running is much, and I mean, much slower than my normal pace. I’m under strict instruction from my doctor to keep my heart rate under 140 bmp; typically, in the past I trained at 160 bmp comfortably for upwards of 10-15 miles at a time. My pre-pregnancy running pace for a typical workout was anywhere between 7:20 minute /miles and 8:10 minute /miles. My pregnancy runs average an 8:45 minute /mile pace, with some days dipping down to an 8:30 minute /mile pace, and others all the way up to a 9:30 minute / mile pace, depending upon the weather conditions and my hormonal fluctuations.
I am proud to announce that on week three of my pregnancy I competed in the North Face DC Trail Marathon…and I won it with a time of 3:34. It is the first major marathon that I have won, and I am thrilled to have run it with my unborn daughter. Just thinking about this marathon motivates me for future races – I am excited to train to get my road race marathon down from 3:14 to a 3:04 (or ideally, 2:59!) next year once I can start training with a jogging stroller.
Additionally, due to my eating disorder past – and in an effort to not accidentally under-eat – I am consistently tracking my caloric intake and exercise output in MyFitnessPal. Doing so has helped me ensure that I am getting a nutritionally sound diet, and also helps me feel okay about any cravings or indulgences I have (which is frozen yogurt almost every night and Swiss cheese on anything I can put it on). My daily caloric intake ranges from 1900 – 2600 calories per day, depending upon how much exercise I enjoyed that day. Since the scale is an old trigger for my eating disorder, I have not been tracking my weight gain. We have found an amazing local doctor who understands my history and who is simply telling me if I’m in a good range of weight gain; she also keeps me accountable to my exercise, making sure I’m not overdoing anything. Again, vulnerability and honesty pays off – in every situation.
Here’s to another 20 weeks of healthy growth for my beautiful little baby girl, and to a tummy that is growing and glowing!