INTERNAL SUCCESS VS EXTERNAL SUCCESS

PODCAST #189:

In this week’s episode of Confidence on the Go we’re chatting about:

• The fundamental differences between internal success and external success
• How to reposition your mind to focus on internal success
• Goal setting session together to get your first 3 internal goals

Just a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners out there – thanks for being part of the community of contagious encouragement.

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

I am proud to be an educator and consultant for Beautycounter, a B-Corp company on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone.   The lack of regulation in the personal care and cosmetic industry is astounding and it is harming our health in very serious ways. We need more voices to join up on our mission. If you want to put your passion to purpose while being generously compensated, then I would love to start a conversation with you about what it means to be involved in the #saferbeauty tribe that is Beautycounter. Join the movement of #betterbeauty and message me via email to make your voice really resonate for a cause. Shop for your own Beautycounter collection at www.beautycounter.com/trishblackwell

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

–Albert Einstein 

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trail and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

– Helen Keller

SO, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

Systematically, one of the problems with perfectionism is that it focuses on external success. The problem is that external success is extremely fragile if you don’t have internal success backing it up.

FIND OUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SUCCESS:

What does your success mean to you?

How does your success affect your life and that of your loved ones?

Do you know that success has no bearing on your value as you?

Have you considered that your commitment to success is a method of contribution to the world, not as a means to justify your existence in it?

EXTERNAL SUCCESS:

Determined and defined in part by what someone else thinks.

Measurable and achievement oriented

INTERNAL SUCCESS:

Achieved without the rendering of anyone else’s judgment

Immeasurable and character oriented

Both contribute to happiness, but without internal success, external success will feel empty, fleeting and unsatisfying.

REPOSITIONING YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT SUCCESS:

1. KNOW WHAT INTERNAL SUCCESS IS TO YOU

To know what you want, we need to first help you with some ideas of what you can actually have. External goals are often easier to set because we are surrounded by people who are achieving things, we are in a society that celebrates professional growth and financial success – materialism helps us in setting external goals, so what is it that will really help us as we set internal goals?   The answer? You have to know what you really actually want.

TYPES OF INTERNAL SUCCESS:

Personal peace and real joy

Confidence and freedom to express yourself

Courage to speak up in life

Resiliency to show up emotionally and to never give up

Quality friendships based in authenticity and honesty

Fruitful marriage with a partner who walks life with you

Creating space for creative expression and development

Intellectual openness and growth

The ability to be present in the moment and day

Abundant relationships with loved ones

Leadership and investing in the lives of others

Generosity of spirit and action

Staying true to one’s moral integrity

Communication and connection with God and a walk with Him

Optimism and hope towards the future and towards ones growth

Sustained attitude of gratitude and engagement in life

Contribution to creating a legacy of meaning

Leading a life of love and expressing love generously

2. KNOW AND VALUE THE WAY INTERNAL SUCCESS FEELS DIFFERENT

Whether it seems obvious or not, we actually have more control over our internal success than our external success. Our internal success all lies within the power of our choice, the power of our thoughts, and our mindset and determination to live out the circumstances of our life in a way that matters.

Internal success is different because there is nothing to prove as in the case of external success – instead, there is just growth, there is just living, there is jut engagement.

3. KNOW HOW TO PURSUE THOSE INTERNAL VALUES IN YOUR LIFE

To pursue these values you have to first know what it is you want to purse. Write them down and meditate upon them. Be honest with yourself about where you are lacking and where you haven’t focused on what you say and claim that you want. What you value is what you focus on … so take time to figure out what exactly it is that you value. You can say you value something, but if you actually do value it, you will focus on it, and when you focus on something, you will take action on something. Then make a commitment to do a mini self-assessment every morning and every night … ask yourself, What internal success do I want to invest my focus in today?, and then, What internal success did I successfully increase today through my focus and attentiveness?

INTERNAL GOAL SETTING SESSION:

What do you really want in life over the next month?

How do you want to feel when you go to sleep at night?

What is the first emotion you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?

Where is there lack or deficiency in your mindset?

How would a mindset change impact your experience of life?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What descriptions do you want people to use more frequently with you?

My internal success for the month of __________ looks like:

More _______________ in my heart.

Less __________________ in how I walk through my daily to-dos.

Feelings of love and satisfaction over _________________ in my life.

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Elizabeth Barker

Hi Trish!

I hope you had a great holiday weekend!

I first heard you when you were a guest on Lisa Druxman’s Motivating Mom podcast, and I just had to look yours up. I downloaded some that I thought I needed to hear- specifically #168. After listening to that, I needed more! I’m a first time mother of a 10 week old little girl, and I, admittedly, do not love my body. I’ve always struggled with self image, and after having extra ten pounds hanging on for dear life and stretch marks, I’m not thrilled about it. But, I heard you speak, hearing your personal struggles and the mantras that you teach your daughter, and I connected with you and was inspired by you.

1. You made me appreciate what my body had just done- I made a human being!
2. I want to be a role model for my daughter. I don’t want her looking at herself like I do myself. I want everything you want for your daughter.
3. I need more self-care!

I could go on and on, but I can’t because time is precious and my baby is trying to get my attention with her sweet cooing. I must get your book! I’ve downloaded more of your podcasts and signed up to get the road map to confidence.

Thank you for all that you do!!!!

Elizabeth

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Are you stuck in “survival” mode but yearn for “thrival” mode and simply aren’t sure how to get from point A to point B?  Let me help coach your mindset to start seeing yourself for the creative contributor and influencer you are … let me help you emerge into the person you were created to be so that you can make the positive impact in this world you were created to make. Enroll in my 7-day online Emerge Experience for less than the cost of a cup of coffee per day and start thriving! Enroll now at >>> www.trishblackwell.com/emerge

Also, grab a copy of my free eBook, Building a Better Body Image >>> www.trishblackwell.com/freebook

Do you want to learn how to choose happiness more often, but just need some personal coaching and guidance and support on how to do that? Well, you’re in luck – I am opening my coaching schedule to take on one more client, and, even better news, I am expanding my hours of availability and am able to take on two new coaching clients to start in January. These sessions will go quickly, so let me know as soon as you can if you want to be earmarked for one of the spots!