LETTING GO OF CONTROL

EPISODE #176

In this week’s episode of Confidence on the Go, we’re chatting about:

• The two different roles “control” plays in our lives and how to leverage them both correctly
• How letting go of control reminds us that we are human and grounds us to experience life more freely because we are able to realize that God’s got us
• Five probing questions for you to ask yourself today to help walk you through constructively letting go of the control in your life that has been actually holding you back from free and joyful living

Just a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners out there – thanks for being part of the community of contagious encouragement.

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

I am proud to be an educator and consultant for Beautycounter, a B-Corp company on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone.   The lack of regulation in the personal care and cosmetic industry is astounding and it is harming our health in very serious ways. We need more voices to join up on our mission. If you want to put your passion to purpose while being generously compensated, then I would love to start a conversation with you about what it means to be involved in the #saferbeauty tribe that is Beautycounter. Join the movement of #betterbeauty and message me via email to make your voice really resonate for a cause.

QUOTES ON LETTING GO:

“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, but nobody thinks of changing himself.”

– Leo Tolstoy

“No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy – unless you let him.”

Napoleon Hill

“The control center of your life is your attitude.” Anonymous

POSITIVE CONTROL:

POSITIVE THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

Your breath

Your attitude

Your beliefs

Your self-talk

Your gratitude

Your perspective

Your body language

Your habits

Your physical fitness

Your mental fitness

Your nutrition

Your relationship with food

Your relationship with your body

Your relationship with yourself

Your rest

NEGATIVE CONTROL:

There are some things we can control and some we can’t, learn which is which.

When I am trying to be in control over things of which I truly can’t have control over, it is: OVERWHELMING and FEAR-BASED. It is LIMITING because it becomes all-consuming

Additionally, other negative control attempts of mine are PERFORMANCE BASED (perfectionism) and FALSE SELF-GRANDIZATION (trying to play God and fix everyone), both of which are EXHAUSTING, UNSUSTAINABLE and LEAD TO NOWHERE.   They all lead to the same, unsettled, fearful and anxious feeling of insignificance.

THINGS WE CAN’T CONTROL

What others think of us

What other people say

What other people do or don’t do

What actually happens circumstantially in life

What happens in the world around us

What happens in the future

What has happened in the past

How other people take care of themselves

How other people put boundaries around toxic behaviors

How we age

How long we actually live

How our body type expresses itself

GOD’S GOT YOU:

Letting go of control is a spiritual process and spiritual development.

There is an art to surrender – and I don’t know about you, but I want to approach this life like it is a work of art, because it is. We are the craftsmanship of God.

Letting go of control reminds us that we are human

The reality is that we think we know best, but we really don’t know best.

This takes a tremendous amount of pressure of us – it lets us be us and God be God, which leads to FREEDOM and a profound UNBURDENING of our soul and spirit.

5 QUESTIONS TO CONSTRUCTIVELY LET GO OF CONTROL

1. What do you have control over?
2. What do you not have control over?
3. What areas of your life have you falsely tried to control that you need to release and surrender?
4. When was the last time you had a good cry? How do you effectively have a safe place to express the emotions over things out of your control?
5. Who do you believe God to really be? Do you really believe He loves you and will care for you?

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Dear Trish,

I just want to say thank you so much for writing Insecurity Detox, which also led me to your Confidence in the Go podcasts. For several YEARS I’ve been suffering from anxiety and super low self-esteem. I saw my fears and my self-loathing bring not only me down, but I saw a change in my husband’s happiness, too. I finally realized this was no way to live and sought counseling. In the process of working on my anxiety, my counselor and I ended up working on the negativity of my thoughts about myself. Trish, in trying different techniques for my anxiety, some involved saying something positive to myself. I went WEEKS not being able to say ANYTHING positive except “I’m alive” or “My lungs are working” (I have no known physical health problems other than being overweight and infertility). Finally, I wanted to bust out of that rut but I literally needed a list to help me even know what to say to myself that was positive. That led me to a trip to the bookstore, and to Insecurity Detox. You had lists!!!! 🙂 I started at the beginning and at first going through your writing exercises were emotionally exhausting–so hard to face my true self! So sad that for years I’ve been mentally beating myself up. It was a devastating revelation. But I kept on and even though I am only on Detox 9, I already feel like almost a different, better, happier person. The me that I’ve been squashing down for decades. I’ve been posting something short, but impactful from each chapter on neon index cards to my bathroom mirror…and I’m just starting to listen to your podcasts. In fact, yesterday I was having a really hard time shopping for clothes and I went to my car and listened to the podcast on body dysmorphia as a way to get myself through such a disappointing experience. You helped me from letting my mind go to far in the wrong direction. The thing I love most about your cause is that you include God and His love in the conversation. As a Christian, I was in tears of frustration when it came to writing the letter from God part of your book…I couldn’t even do it. I didn’t even know what to write. It took me over a week to put pen to paper and do it. But eventually I did! You are amazing, and I am so thankful. My husband notices a change in me, too, and we are (okay, now the gratitude tears are coming) LAUGHING together and enjoying each other more than ever. Thank you for reaching out to others with authenticity and faith. I’m already recommending your book to others, because I recognize that anxiety and depression is an epidemic and it all starts from within but many of us don’t even know it. I want others to feel as liberated as I am starting to feel, thanks to your positive coaching. Thank you so very much!

-Robin

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

There are so many people who want to do big things with their lives – who know that they were created for more than what they are currently doing, yet, who, despite their deep desire for change, find themselves waiting for the perfect time or perfect circumstances to step up and make change. It’s time to stop the waiting and start the living.

In his book, You.Are.The.One, Kute Blackson writes about the power of “giving up waiting.” He writes: “How we wait reveals how we live life. We often think, Oh, I’m just waiting. What does it matter? But it actually reveals how we live life itself. When you give up waiting, you can actually start living life now as it really is.”

Kute Blackson is right: it’s time to stop waiting and instead to start living.

I want to help you do just that: start living. I want to help you get off the sidelines of life. I want to help you Breakout from whatever it is holding you back and I want to do that by inviting you to enroll in my upcoming session of my signature program, Breakout. Breakout is a 30-day, intense personal development program done virtually with me as your personal coach…and it’s only for people serious about making positive changes in their mindset and in their lives.

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You are ready to stop with the excuses and start taking action on life

You are ready to face your fears

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I can’t wait to personally coach you!

This Breakout session launches Sunday, September 4th and it won’t be offered again until 2017! Snag your spot right now >>> www.trishblackwell.com/breakout