In this week’s episode of Confidence on the Go we’re chatting about:
- The reason why the concept of beauty captures our hearts
- The three most common ways we self-sabotage our own beauty and happiness
- The questions you need to be journaling about if you want your beauty to be free and to shine brightly as it was intended to
“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” –Coco Chanel
Just a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners out there – thanks for being part of the community of contagious encouragement.
I am proud to be an educator and consultant for Beautycounter, a B-Corp company on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone. The lack of regulation in the personal care and cosmetic industry is astounding and it is harming our health in very serious ways. We need more voices to join up on our mission. If you want to put your passion to purpose while being generously compensated, then I would love to start a conversation with you about what it means to be involved in the #saferbeauty tribe that is Beautycounter. Join the movement of #betterbeauty and message me via email to make your voice really resonate for a cause.
Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
I never knew or thought I was beautiful. I was caught up in the competitive world of perfectionism, comparison and achievement and I always felt quite “never enough”. I spent years trying to change who I was, trying to be someone else and trying to look differently than I do naturally, and then, when I learned to BE MYSELF everything changed. My confidence grew, my beauty blossomed and my joy in life (JOIE DE VIVRE, baby!) exploded. Be your own beautiful by giving yourself permission to simply be YOU and to start seeing yourself as God sees you: beautiful, gorgeous and unique. I love that partnering with @beautycounter gives me a voice to help others see and invest in their own natural beauty in a safe and beautiful way, all the while making #betterbeauty available to all by working to get safer products into the hands of everyone.
BEING BEAUTIFUL – WHY IT CAPTURES OUR HEARTS
It captures our hearts because it has been programmed into our souls. It is part of what makes up our world and our understanding of that world.
QUOTES ON BEAUTY:
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows in the passing years. –Audrey Hepburn
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. –Confucius
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Therefore we do not lose heart. Those outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. -2 Corinthians 4:16
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. –Matthew 6:28-29
WHY I STRUGGLED WITH BEAUTY
> Raised where verbal affirmations were scarce in terms of external attributes. My mother believed I was beautiful, but she believed that I would obviously know it and so she didn’t often tell me it.
> I was an athlete and that had grown into my identity. During the summers, at the pool, all the boys I liked always liked other girls. I thought it meant there was something wrong with me.
> My older brother could have modeled in his teenage years, which led to many hurtful conversations about how it could be possible or even feasible that we were related.
> I thought I needed to be fixed and I also worried that my yearning to be beautiful was selfish, ungodly, self-centered and trivial, so I pushed it aside and back.
> We lived on a tight budget and most of my clothes were hand-me-downs, meaning I always felt behind on fashion and unlovely because I couldn’t even find or hid behind beauty in my clothes.
HOW BEAUTY BECAME ME
>I started to become beautiful the moment I allowed myself to be myself, and since then it has been a journey of growth and development.
>I started to study beauty … looking for it intentionally in myself and in others as often as I could and focused on unconventional beauty. I found my soul inspired when I saw life awaken in the heart of someone else after I had celebrated or highlighted their beauty.
>I began concentrating on beautiful thoughts.
>I realized my beauty had been there all along, I had just spent so much time hating, criticizing, putting pressure, and working myself into the ground to slow down and notice the beauty. Beauty needs to be noticed, it needs to be acknowledged and when I started speaking out of my place of beauty, my understanding of my own beauty excelled.
THE THREE WAYS WE SABOTAGE:
WE DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH
WE LISTEN TO THE WRONG VOICES
WE PLAY SMALL
THE TOXIC ROLE OF COMPARISON:
> Comparison is the thief of joy
> Comparison diminishes the beauty of your heart
> Comparison invites in anxiety to grow and fester, setting you up to cower and hesitant (don’t forget, the prettiest girls are the happiest ones)
ANXIETY OVER BEAUTY:
>Am I lovely? Is one of the deepest cries of our hearts.
>Loss of our loveliness as we age evokes great anxiety
>Comparison to others sets us up for negative self-image, diminishing our beauty
>Fear of abandonment because we have aligned our beauty to our worth (which are two entities completely separate)
QUESTIONS TO JOURNAL ABOUT RE: YOUR OWN BEAUTY
Be your own beautiful by being yourself. Beauty isn’t about what is on the outside, it’s about having a beautiful mind, heart and soul.
HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL:
Want to be more beautiful? It’s simple: feed your inner beauty and let love overflow from your depths.
Want to be the prettiest girl in the room? It’s simple: be the happiest and be the person most interested in other people and the least interested in yourself.
Want to be yourself? It’s simple: give yourself permission to be vulnerable, authentic and open, quirks and all and let that real you shine, reminding yourself that the greatest way to love the world around you well is to give the world the gift of the best you.
BEAUTY CONCEPTS FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT:
- Are your thoughts ugly or beautiful?
- Have you attached your worth to your beauty? What do you need to do to give beauty the role is has as its own entity and your worth and value as its own entity.
- What it is that is holding you back from allowing your beauty to shine?
- How can you see beauty as a gift?
Perhaps one of the greatest fundamental problems with beauty is that, like our struggle with self-worth, we have convinced ourselves that it is in our own hands to control it. How foolish we are to think we are responsible to bear the heavy burden of two things that were given to us as gifts.
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
“You force me to grow you scare me lady but I love you that much more!”
If you love me, you will write a review for my book! That is, as long as you have gotten a copy of the book! If you don’t yet have your own copy go to any bookstore or to www.insecuritydetox.com!
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