THE SECRET TO JOY
In this weeks’ episode of Confidence on the Go, we’re chatting about:
- How having joy as a daily descriptor of your life can change everything about it
- 5 lessons I wanted to share that I’ve learned from my relationship with joy
- The secret to having real, sustainable joy in your life
Just a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners out there – thanks for being part of the community of contagious encouragement.
I am proud to be an educator and consultant for Beautycounter, a B-Corp company on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone. The lack of regulation in the personal care and cosmetic industry is astounding and it is harming our health in very serious ways. We need more voices to join up on our mission. If you want to put your passion to purpose while being generously compensated, then I would love to start a conversation with you about what it means to be involved in the #saferbeauty tribe that is Beautycounter. Join the movement of #betterbeauty and message me via email to make your voice really resonate for a cause.
THE SECRET TO JOY
Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation. –Rick Warren
Joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is a settled state of contentment, confidence and hope. –Theopedia
There is a big difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is an emotion and temporary; joy is an attitude of the heart. Joy comes from Old French joie, based on Latin gaudium, from gaudere ‘rejoice.’
WHAT JOY ISN’T:
-Only available to certain people
-Something you earn
WHAT JOY IS:
-Uncontainable beauty and life
-Peace and contentedness
-Enthusiasm and optimism
-State of the soul
-Based in all things love
-Rejoicing in life
HOW JOIE DE VIVRE CHALLENGED ME:
-Reminds me that joy is imprinted into me and always has been
-Reminds me that joy is a choice
-Reminds me that joy is a by-product of actively living, living requires action
-Reminds me that joy is fluid
5 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED FROM MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JOY
Joy is fluid, and flow like a river of a relationship – and, in being that, the more you invest in it, the more intentionally you commit to it, the more joy you will have
I am not joy-filled when I am living a perfectionistic-centered, achievement-oriented, must-proof-myself-and-my-worth, comparison-driven life; and when I am not joy-filled, I am only half-full, and thereby only a half version of myself and of who I am meant to be. It’s a very uncomfortable way to live and feel.
Joy comes from a limitless fountain; there is no fear of scarcity.
I have to tattoo joy to myself because I have learned that, even though I have the best of intentions to keep it at the forefront of my thinking, my living and my actions, it’s easy to lose attention and focus on it.
Attention creates access to joy.
THE SECRET TO JOY:
>You simply have to decide that it’s a value of yours and need to constantly have a joy-check.
If you love me, you will write a review for my book! J That is, as long as you have gotten a copy of the book! If you don’t yet have your own copy go to any bookstore or to www.insecuritydetox.com!
Also, to go with my book, I’ve created a FREE 5-Day Detox Devotional to prepare your heart and soul to get the most out of Insecurity Detox once it arrives. Over a period of five days, you will receive five-minute devotional and prayer-centered posts right to your inbox to inspire joy, infuse you with confidence and deepen your understanding of the truth of just how deeply God loves you. Get your free copy of the Detox Devotional by visiting www.trishblackwell.com/devotional
To increase your own practice of abundance in your thoughts, allow me to be your coach for my 7-day online Emerge Experience, in which I will help you train your brain and work on intentional living so that you can really start emerging into the person you were created to be and the person that the world is waiting for. There is more than enough need for you to be the best you – the world needs you and your love. Start taking your presence in the world seriously and start emerging…you can enroll in Emerge at www.trishblackwell.com/emerge
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
My name is Sarah and I am 26 years old. I am almost ashamed to say that I’ve been listening to your podcast for almost 2 whole years now, and this is my first time writing to you. I have to say that since the very first time I listened to your podcast I have always felt that each and every message was relatable to my life in some way. Upon hearing your story, I have definitely connected to your journey as I too spend my childhood focused on being perfect. I always wanted to be the perfect child for my parents, the perfect student in school, the perfect girl that everyone loved. This lifestyle was exhausting and I began to experience major anxiety and bouts of depression at a very young age.
By the time I was 12 my desire for perfectionism lead me into the dark hole of an eating disorder. I spent my entire middle school and high school years wrapped up in what I was eating or not eating, exercising for hours and hours and hours on end, berating myself in front of the mirror. I was ruining my body and ended up spending many days in the hospital and back and fourth to different specialist and psychiatrists. Looking back I can’t believe I spent almost 8 whole years of my life completely consumed by this shadow of a mental illness.
By the time I was 20 I knew my body couldn’t handle this lifestyle anymore. Although I had been going to counselors for years, I made the decision to put myself into an intensive rehab program. Little did I know I would spend $30,000 and 2 months of my life surrounded by people telling me that I would NEVER get better. What kind of logic is that?
Well fast forward a little while and I am proud to say that I no longer have any desire to act out in those ways anymore and by the grace of God alone I am completely free of that eating disorder. Still however, plagued by intense anxiety and feeling alone in this world. In college I (foolishly) realized that I could use my body to gain what I though was acceptance and love. Boy, was I wrong. This only left me feeling even more insecure and empty and hurt. I jumped from relationship to relationship hoping for someone to fill me up, to give me worth. Eventually I met someone whom I though was “good enough”. The important thing was that he “seemed” like me cared about me so I clung to this. Fast forward 3 more years and we have moved to a new city, living together with a dog and bills to pay and jobs and all the ‘joys’ of being an adult- but not happy. This relationship was truly only fueling my feelings of never being good enough, and only exasperated my negative mindset.
In December 2015, I was going through a very lonely and miserable time of depression and still constant anxiety that was disrupting my life. Although I would try to push myself to listen to your messages, I felt too far gone like my life was never meant to get any better than that. Thankfully, after the first of the year I got a fire down in my spirit, I finally said I don’t want to live this life anymore, I NEED a serious change. I began reaching out to God again (after a very long hiatus) and immersing myself into good things, like the bible, your podcast, sermons, and positive self help books. I joined a women’s small group that was part of a nearby church and began to make new friends and open myself up. One day I was re-listening to your podcast #138 with Jessica Vaughan and something really clicked. I wanted to discover my worth! I ordered her book that day and when it arrived I couldn’t put it down! It was everything I needed to hear, like she was speaking right to me.
This book, your encouraging words, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit gave me the strength and confident to end my toxic relationship. Never in a million years did I think I would have been able to do something like that, but I did and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time I don’t feel as though my identity and worth are tied to him, rather I have my own worth because I am a child of God, uniquely and wonderfully made.
Trish, I seriously cannot ever thank you enough because your words have been the catalyst to one of the biggest revelations in my life! I can’t even believe how much my life has improved in the last 6 weeks- I feel like a new person! I did preorder your book Insecurity detox and received it yesterday. I am starting the 5-day devotional first but cannot wait to dive into the book! Although I still have some anxieties and insecurities, I know my life is changing for the better thanks to God and your messages of encouragement! From the bottom of my heart I am so sincerely thankful for all that you do- you are seriously changing lives! I apologize for taking up so much of your time with this essay of an email, but I really felt compelled to tell you a little about my story and to let you know how much of an influence you are having on my life! Keep doing what you are doing! You are amazing and truly have been a gift from God in my life and hundreds of others!