SQUASHING SARCASM

EPISODE #134:

In this week’s episode we’re talking about:

• The defense mechanism of sarcasm and how it steals confidence from us
• Why – whether you dish out sarcasm or you are the recipient of it – you need to make some proactive steps to squash the presence of sarcasm in your life
• 4 tangible steps to help you eliminate sarcasm and change the nature of dialogues in your life

I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort.

-Gordon Hinckley

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

This podcast episode is proudly brought to you by the only company in America that is committed to full transparency and better beauty for people and the planet, Beautycounter.   Beautycounter’s partnership with the Confidence on the Go podcast is an invitation to you to join the mission of better beauty – by starting your own Beautycounter collection or by partnering alongside us. To start shopping for your own Beautycounter products go to www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter. To join forces with me on the Beautycounter mission – and to get free business mentorship from me in the process – email me directly at trish {@} trishblackwell.com with the subject line “I want to be on your team!.” I can only take on two new teammates this month; so if you are passionate about the mission behind Beautycounter, email me immediately! 

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SARCASM TODAY:

• Listener request (Email below)
• Hurtful experiences I have from people in my life who are sarcastic
• It’s a type of insecurity that expresses itself in a very socially accepted way and I believe that there is simply a better, more fulfilling and beautiful way to live.

Trish,

Hello, I wanted to ask you for some tips on sarcasm. I grew up in a very witty and sarcastic family.  I too am very sarcastic. I realized by listening to your show that sarcasm is very mean and hurtful.

Before, I didn’t even KNOW I was so extremely sarcastic. Now that I’m aware of it, I try to be intentional about not being sarcastic.

I still find myself slipping back to my old ways and feel like I’m almost programmed to be this way. I always seem to robotically use it when I’m unhappy with a situation or sometimes when I think I’m going to say something funny.

Do you have any tips or suggestions on what I can do to stop falling back on sarcasm? I am ready to make a change, but I’m unsure how to start. I really appreciate you, thanks TB!

-Ciara

WHAT IS SARCASM:

Definition of Sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or convey contempt, a form of irony in which apparent praise conceals another, scornful meaning.  Sarcasm is the least genuine form of communication.

People assume that sarcasm is well-meaning, but in all actuality it is merely thinly veiled meanness. Sarcasm is hostility designed as humor. The origin of the word sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein”, which literally means to “tear or strip the flesh off”.

WHY DO PEOPLE USE IT?

Why do we adopt sarcasm and some other emotional defense mechanisms?

• Insecurity
• Latent Anger
• Social Awkwardness

If you are the person communicating with sarcasm, break this habit of communication by first understanding just how hurtful and cutting your words are and can be.

HOW TO STOP:

Do you want to be known as the person who is cynical, who is scornfully and habitually negative?

1. Rate yourself. Ask yourself: are you happy with your words? Are you happy with how you make people feel? Do people feel better or worse after being around you?
2. Assess your patterns. When exactly is it that you cower behind the guises of sarcasm? What are the things that cause you to retreat emotionally and to lash out to others in such a destructive way?
3. Decide to change. Create a plan and accountability. Sarcasm-free zone -> create an accountability zone and commitment with a friend. Like anything, sarcasm breeds more sarcasm.
4. Follow up in one month. Do a self-assessment and get honest feedback from your accountability partner on how much you have changed.

WINNERS OF THE #CONFIDENTMOM GIVEAWAY:

DuckTapeLady:

NoExcusesAshley13

JessesGirl229

One more to be announced this week – stay posted to my Facebook Like Page at www.facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Challenge of the month: What’s your WORD of the month? Mine is COURAGE.

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Hey Trish!

I am a senior in college at NDSU and I am finally taking an English class I have put off because I am a math major who has always struggled in English. For our first assignment we have to write about a leader and I decided to write about you! I listen to all of your podcasts when I’m biking or driving and I bought your book, Building a Better Body Image, to get me through last semester.

You are easy to relate to for me because I have also suffered from an eating disorder. I couldn’t eat anything without an insane amount of guilt. I obsessed over food and it controlled my life. Using the tips you talk about has helped me create a better relationship with food and I’m beginning to not feel trapped in my body.

My paper is going to focus on how you are such an incredible leader through inspiring people. After listening to your podcast or reading your book I feel like I can achieve anything! I’m very excited for your new motivating app as well and continue to tell all my friends to listen to your podcasts.

-Sam Lawers