OVERCOMING SURVIVAL MODE

EPISODE #124

This week we’re chatting about

• The difference between surviving and thriving
• How to know if you are unnecessarily reinforcing survival-mode thinking in your life
• 4 ways to overcome survival thinking so you can start thriving with your thinking

THANK YOU:

To you for being you! Thank you to everyone who has shared this podcast show and thank you to everyone of you who considers yourself a “Be More-er”…someone committed to being more of who you are.

WHY THIS TOPIC:

1. Because of a listener request (see below):

There is a topic that I would love to hear a podcast on: survival mode and recovery from it. For many years I have lived my life in destructive survivor mode as a result of PTSD and anxiety stemming from childhood trauma and abuse. Survivor mode has kept me living like a rabbit not a lion! I have constantly been on the move, scared and skittish. I have self-imploded every relationship that has come into my life including toxic relationships I had with my parents and siblings. I’ve learned that while I’m in survival mode I’m also feeding the monsters of generational curses from divorce to addictions and this is setting the stage for my children to live their lives in this same destructive way, it’s literally the legacy I am leaving my children and it must stop! I have decided that I must make the change and end this cycle. I just don’t know how to move on, how to survive and thrive after survivor mode.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Keep on riding your unicorn cowgirl! You rock!

Marley

2. Because I grew up in a household where “survival mode” was a common theme

3. Because I have had to make the decision to overcome survival mode.

In 2008 when I was brutally raped I experienced extreme PTSD. The assault occurred just months after I broke off my engagement with my first love, a relationship that was toxic and abusive. I was still emotionally recovering from the broken relationship when my attacker broke my spirit and harmed my body. After two weeks of darkness, hopelessness and cowering from the world, I awoke one night to a new, life-changing decision: I refused to be a victim. Instead I was determined to be a victor.   That man had done me enough harm, he had brought enough evil into my life through his act of violence and I would not give his actions any further negative impact or room to matter in my life. His legacy on me stopped there.

Your survival kit to overcome survivor mode is all in your thoughts.

SURVIVAL MODE:

Signs that you might have a “survival” mentality:

• You’re stressed frequently
• You feel like all you do is “get through” the day, only to start over again
• Life seems to pile up without much promise of reprise
• You live for the weekends or for vacations
• You move in life with the mentality that you are actually being threatened
• You feel a great need to prove yourself or your worth
• You experience relentless anxiety

ARE YOU UNNECESSARILY REINFORCING SURVIVAL-MODE STATES?

Survival mode is a disconnection from real living. It’s like watching life happen around you and feeling helpless and powerless to do anything about it, good or bad. Survival mode is often something we emotionally connect to if we are unaware because our minds want to believe that we are “fighters,” we want to believe that we are “survivors” and by staying locked into and engaged in survival-mode thinking, we identify ourselves with being strong and tough…we become our own martyrs.

Instead, we need to see survival-mode for what it is: a toxic mindset. It is a mindset that, by allowing us to identify ourselves as survivors, we miss out on the opportunity to see ourselves as thrivers…or, as someone victorious.

A survivor is a victim. It is someone who has survived – who has overcome and who still suffers from the wrong done to them.   A thriver is victorious.

HOW TO OVERCOME SURVIVAL MODE:

1. Understand that it is a mindset

   You can choose to have a mindset of survival mode or a mindset of thriving mode. Do you want to survive or do you want to thrive? The ability to actually thrive starts with first believing that you can and that you will.

2. Rediscover your passions.

   Incorporate more joy and more beauty into your life. You are the conductor of the immediate environment around you – surround yourself with beauty, with passions, with things that activate your heart and your mind….as you do you will activate your life with more authentic engagement in living.

3. Thrive. Thrive. Thrive.

   Refuse to give anything or anyone negative a voice in your life any longer. Make a decision to eliminate the power of those who have harmed you in the past – forgive them so that you can move on yourself.

4. Change your focus.

   Find a way to celebrate life, the small details of it.

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Kris Wood

Hey Trish it’s Kris! I’ve been a part of your community since the very beginning! I think you know most of my story but just to recap, back in 2009 I weighed 369 pounds. I was sad, depressed and isolated from the world. And boy did I watch a lot of TV! One Thursday night I stumbled upon an episode of the biggest loser. There was a girl on there who looked a lot like me; same body type same facial structure hair color etc. I got hooked and watched as this woman transformed into the athlete. At the finale of the show she ran a full 26.2 marathon. I just kept saying “I could do that.” So I started out really small. I actually started with Richard Simmons sweating to the oldies it was a VHS tape that I found from Goodwill for real cheap. I finished my first marathon that year and was so incredibly empowered that I ended up doing at nine more times. I’ve not quite reached my goal weight but I’m training for lucky number 10 and feeling really good about the weight loss I’ve had so far. In addition to that amazing accomplishment I also switched careers and have finish school and have become a rockstar paralegal. I love it so much it’s the funnest job ever. Some days I can’t believe they pay me. Don’t get me wrong some days are really hard and I struggle just like everyone else, but the one thing that has kept me solid and brings me back to myself is your amazing weekly podcast. You’ve inspired me to chase a dream I didn’t even know I had. I am now starting my own podcast and website called self-care is sexy. It’s a life lesson that I need to learn and I figured what better way to learn it then to share it with others. I can’t thank you enough for all the positivity. You don’t know this, but you have been a very good friend to me, for a long time! You’ve been dependable and you’ve taught me about the kind of person that I want to be. I want to be more of myself. I want to be free. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Trish.

TAKE ACTION:

Download the Punch Out Perfectionism Worksheet: www.trishblackwell.com/perfectionismworksheet

Follow me on Periscope, @trainerTRISH and share my ‘scope with your friends!

Give yourself the gift of Emerge. Go for a week without buying coffee out and inside have your coffee at home with me. Each day for seven days you’ll spend some quality time with me (just 15 minutes needed) intended to help you emerge and grow into more of who you are meant to be. The Emerge Experience will help give you the courage to face your fears and to stand up the little voices in your head that are your own worst enemy.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• I have three open spaces for accountability coaching – do something decisive today and start taking action on your life…start really living and let me walk alongside you as you do! If you are looking for an accountability coach, I have space to take on three new clients. Go to http://www.trishblackwell.com/accountability-coaching/or email me if you are interested in more information.
• Another way to practice decisiveness is to take action on doing that thing, signing up for that race or program, or writing that thank you card to that person you have lost touch with … stop everything you are doing and decide to do that thing right now, today, as soon as this episode is done.

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Be more of who you are. Be you. Be free.

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SHOW NOTES: IF YOU WANT TO BE FEATURED AS LISTENER OF THE EPISODE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHARE YOUR STORY WITH ME!

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Email – trish at trishblackwell.com
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